Parenting Styles & Journaling Exercises
Below is a list of 4 types of Parenting Styles, read each one and decide where you fall overall. Many parents find that they are a blend depending on the topic, e.g., curfew, chores, responsibility, homework, dating, etc.
Write down which one/s describe your parenting style and why.
Next, write down the stages/segments of a typical day with your child/ren, beginning with awakening, teeth brushing, etc. And when you are done listing the day (write them vertically down the page) go back and put the style of parenting that goes with that segment; e.g., teeth brushing - authoritative, taking out the garbage - authoritarian.
And finally, if you have different methods and standards of parenting your children, write down the reasons why, e.g., is it gender driven, or do you favor one over the other/s, or do you think one can handle more responsibility, freedom, etc. and the other/s not so much?
Please note - it’s important that you be dead honest with yourself and remember, there is no right or wrong here. To my knowledge there is not one person on the planet who has a 24/7 lock on parenting skills.
You’re simply on a fact finding mission to gather valuable information in order to understand and assess why you parent the way you do. This process of self-assessment might also shine a light on those areas of your parenting that you aren’t very proud of and want to upgrade. Which is one of the reasons why you’re here, is it not?
You will also discover areas of your parenting skills that you can feel good about and even feel a bit puffed up about. And who doesn’t love that type of boost?
And finally, you might discover for all of your honest self-assessment, that you are paying forward some of your parents’ parenting styles, both good and bad. This is valuable information that will give you a better perspective on why it is you do what you do.
Authoritarian Parents
The Authoritarian model is a rigid, uncompromising approach to parenting. Parents set high expectations and firm rules without offering their children much support or asking for their input. Authoritarian parents hold the belief that a child should do what they say simply because they said it.
Authoritative Parents
Authoritative Parents strive to strike a balance between being firm while also showing warmth and support. Instead of forcing children to follow rules just because they say so, authoritative parents will discuss rules and expectations as a family. However, they’re still clear on who’s in charge and will hold kids accountable when they don’t do what’s expected. This type of parent will use discipline in the form of coaching, guiding or utilizing natural and logical consequences.
Permissive Parents
Permissive Parents are warm and nurturing, but are likely to be lax and/or inconsistent when it comes to rules and discipline. Their tendency is to act more like a friend than a role model, so the children have a lot of freedom and aren’t always monitored closely. Children of permissive parents don’t usually have many responsibilities or chores and their days tend to be unstructured.
Free Range Parents
In some ways free-range parenting is similar to permissive parenting in that they are both fluid and have very few guidelines. The big difference is that instead of letting their children run amok, free-range parents value teaching their children to become more independent. In other words, it’s more that the parent allows the child room to grow, experiment and do what the parent feels he/she is capable of and can handle, rather than letting the child do whatever he/she wants.
